Are you looking for the perfect custody calendar that works for you and your ex-partner? Divorce not only separates an ex-couple’s finances and property, but it also divides their time with their children. Children play a big role in a family, but what happens when their parents separate?
Even after divorce, separated parents have the ongoing obligation to care for their children. Unfortunately, there’s no single “ideal” custody schedule for separated parents. The best arrangement truly depends on various factors unique to each family, including:
- Children’s ages and needs: Younger children often require more stability and shorter transitions, while older children might handle longer stretches with each parent better.
- Parents’ work schedules and living arrangements: Schedules need to be compatible with work demands and the proximity of homes to minimise disruptions.
- Parents’ relationship and co-parenting ability: Amicable co-parenting allows for more flexibility, while high conflict might require stricter parenting schedules and communication channels.
- Children’s individual preferences and activities: Consider existing extracurricular activities, sports, and social routines.
Let’s see in this article what the perfect custody calendar can work for separated and co parents.
The Relevance of the Child’s Best Interests
When making any judgements under the Family Law Act of 1975, including those concerning custody arrangements, the child’s best interests always come first. This implies that the best interests of the child’s growth and well-being must come first in any custody calendar created by the court or created by separated parents.
Here are some key aspects of the child’s best interests under Section 60CC of the Act:
- Benefit of having a meaningful relationship with both parents: This involves ensuring regular and ongoing contact with both parents, unless there are compelling reasons against it, such as risk of harm.
- Protection from physical or psychological harm: This includes considering any history of abuse, neglect, or family violence and ensuring the chosen arrangement protects the child from any potential threats. If one parent has a history of domestic violence, they may still visit their children, but with strict supervision.
Building a Child-Centred Custody Schedule
Separated parents should ensure that their custody calendar focuses on their child. In fact, the Family Law Amendment Bill 2023 removes the “equal shared parental responsibility” presumption from the Family Law Act. Experts, including a bipartisan parliamentary committee in 2017, raised concerns about these provisions.
They cited confusion, lack of child safety emphasis, and improper application that potentially endangered children. This new law addresses these concerns by ensuring all decisions prioritise the child’s well-being above all else. Separated parents can create a child-centered custody schedule by:
- Working together: Prioritise open communication and collaboration with the other parent.
- Ensuring consistent contact: Facilitate regular, age-appropriate time with both parents.
- Considering the child’s voice: Incorporate their preferences as they mature, within reasonable boundaries.
- Minimising disruption: Maintain familiar routines and environments to reduce stress and anxiety.
- Adapting to growth: Tailor the parenting schedule to the child’s developmental stage and adjust as they grow.
- Finding a unique fit: Experiment and find a rhythm that works for your specific family dynamics.
- Being clear and specific: Define details like timings, transportation, and communication channels for clarity.
- Futureproofing: Use flexible wording to adapt to changes and unforeseen situations.
- Remembering it’s an evolving process: Regularly revisit and adjust the schedule as needed.
Common Custody Calendar Examples
| Schedule Type | Description | Pros | Cons |
| Weekly Alternating | Children spend one week with each parent | 1) Equal parenting time 2) Easy to understand | 1) Long stretches away from each parent 2) Disruptive to routines |
| 2-2-3 | Children spend weekdays with one parent and weekends with the other. | 1) Provides stability during school 2) Longer weekend stretches. | 1) Less time during the week with one parent. |
| 3-4-4-3 | Children spend three weekdays with one parent, four weekdays and weekends with the other, then switch. | 1) More time with each parent during the week 2) Longer weekend stretches | 1) Complex schedule 2) Requires good communication. |
| Split week | Children spend weekdays with one parent and alternate evenings/overnights. | 1) Maintains daily routine with one parent 2) Good for younger children. | 1) Limited weekend time with each parent. |
| Nesting | Children stay in one home (often the larger/more permanent one) while parents rotate in and out. | 1) Minimises disruption for children 2) Reduces moving logistics. | 1) Requires high co-parenting cooperation and clear boundaries. |
Parenting Arrangements for Teenage Children
Navigating custody with teenagers takes a shift! Your 12–17-year-old craves independence, juggling friends, school, activities, and maybe even a job. Forget rigid schedules – listen to their needs and wants to create a truly supportive arrangement. So why does it matter?
- More independence: Teens yearn for space and control over their time. Giving them a voice fosters trust and cooperation.
- Changing schedules: Extracurriculars, special occasions, jobs, and social commitments create a dynamic schedule. Flexibility is key!
- Open communication: Talk through their preferences and concerns. Transparency builds a healthy co-parent dynamic.
What if Separated Parents Can’t Agree on Custody Schedules?
When separated parents can’t agree on a custody schedule, it can be a stressful and difficult situation for everyone involved, especially the children. Here are some options to consider if you find yourself in this situation:
1. Mediation: This involves a neutral third-party facilitating communication and exploring amicable solutions. It can be helpful for couples who struggle to communicate effectively or want to avoid the cost and stress of court. Mediation is usually used to resolve family law matters like child support, divorce, and property settlement.
2. Collaborative family law: This approach focuses on resolving disputes outside of court through open communication and cooperation. It requires both parties to be committed to working together.
3. Going to court: If all else fails, you can petition the court to determine a custody calendar or schedule. This can be a lengthy and expensive process, so it’s best to try the first two options first.
How Can Family Lawyers Help with Your Custody Schedule?
JB Solicitors are well-versed in family law, including the specific statutes and case law governing child custody arrangements. They can explain the legal framework and its implications for your situation. If existing court orders are already in place, we can interpret their meaning and implications for future modifications to the custody schedule.
Our family lawyers can act as neutral facilitators in mediation sessions, guiding parents toward understanding each other’s perspectives and exploring mutually agreeable solutions.
Contact us today if you need help with your parenting arrangements or your co-parenting calendar.
